Dear Luke
by JuicyFruity39
Summary: Words can kill. They can hurt people. Unfortunately for Percy, he has to learn that the hard way when he discovers that he might just be responsible for a student's death. When Percy visits their family, he discovers her diary and will soon learn the secrets of Annabeth Chase. (A LITTLE BIT OF PERCABETH!)
1. Introduction

**CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS VOTED FOR 'HIGH SCHOOL STORIES' ON MY POLL! I know that I said I was going to start this story a little bit later...but yeah...let's just...move on with the story**

**This isn't the most typical high school story...but technically it is...ya...and don't worry there will be some Percabeth**

**If you haven't checked out my other stories please check them out!**

**READ AND REVIEW**

**STORY INFO:**** In this story, Percy Jackson reads the diary belonging to Annabeth Chase, who had taken her own life because of the bullying at her high school. I had actually gotten the idea from both 'Thirteen Reasons Why' and the diary that was written by Anne Frank. **

**DEDICATION: I dedicate this story to Anne Frank and her family and Peter Van Daan and his family, who had all, except for Mr. Frank, perished due to the unfair genocide of Hitler and the Nazis. May you all rest in peace  
**

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Mr. Chase," I said to the forlorn father.

Frederick Chase smiled meekly, trying to compose himself. His cheeks were flushed pink, his eyes puffy. "Thank you, Percy, for coming today. I understand that Annabeth didn't have a lot of friends and for you to stop by means a lot. Did you know Annabeth?"

I shrugged, trying not to look at his face. "Not very well. We had a lot of our classes together...but she was pretty quiet. And, we really didn't have very many things in common. Besides, I don't think she liked me very much. I just, I feel bad. No one should have to go through what she did."

Mr. Chase sighed, fighting back tears. "If I had known what was going on, I would have stopped it. It seemed that the only person that actually knew what was going on in her life was Luke Castellan."

"Luke Castellan?"

"He was Annabeth's best friend. He was practically her brother. She told him everything. Unfortunately, he passed away a few years ago. After that, Annabeth has been distant. And then...," Mr. Chase trailed off.

"This happened."

"Yes. Sometimes I feel like I was bad parent. Now that I think about it, I really didn't know my daughter very well after all. Her death could have been prevented."

I tried not to look into the depressed father's eyes as I responded. Instead, I focused my gaze at the picture of Annabeth Chase on the piano. She was beaming, her gray eyes sparkling, her blonde hair tucked behind her ear. "Sometimes things like this can't be stopped."

I wasn't even sure why I was at this funeral. My friends would make fun of me if they saw me.

But I guess I just felt responsible.

"I believe her death could have been. Maybe if Luke came back. Or if I had just paid more attention," Mr. Chase clarified.

"Or if the kids at her school wasn't such pathetic losers," I whispered, clenching my fists.

"What was that?"

I shrugged. "Nothing." I looked up at Mr. Chase's eyes, noticing the features that resembled his dead daughter's. "Can I go upstairs? Or would that be too much of an intrusion?"

Mr. Chase fervently shook his head, "No. No, of course not. Annabeth wouldn't mind."

I smiled. "Thank you, sir."

Quietly, trying not to bring too much attention to myself, I made my way to the set of stairs. Quickly, I walked up, examining the empty hallway. Empty picture frames were still hanging up and I assumed they were all pictures of Annabeth. I felt a stab of pain course through my body.

_I was responsible._

Those three words continued to repeat itself over and over again in my head.

I was responsible for the death of someone perfect. I made her do this. I pushed her. I _willed _her.

_I was responsible._

_I was responsible._

How could I be such a monster? How could I push someone to something to drastic, so terrible? Was I really the reason behind why Annabeth Chase did this to herself?

I rounded the corner and found myself staring at the open door toward the bathroom, which was the room where Annabeth was found. I slowly, milking every centimeter of distance, before I finally entered the bathroom. It had been unchanged from when Annabeth's body was discovered, but yet it was completely clean, as if nothing had actually happened. It even smelled of flowers, which was how Annabeth always smelled.

There, perched on the bathtub, was the murder weapon: a small container of pills. Beside it: a diary.

A diary? How odd. I hesitantly grabbed it and flipped it open to the first page.

* * *

_Hello. My name is Annabeth Chase and this is my diary. I know, it's kind of a crappy introduction...but what else I'm supposed to say? _

_Normally, I'm not much of a 'spill your guts' kind of person. In fact, I'm stay on the down low for the most part. Except, there was always someone that I could count on to spill my guts to. To cry to. To complain to. There always someone there that I could rely on._

_Unfortunately for me, I can't really rely on that person anymore, for their no longer with me._

_So, I needed an alternative. Someone to count on._

_I found this old little journal in a box of my dead mother's old things. I flipped through it and found it blank. Immediately I took interest in the antique binding and the floral patterns and now, I plan on pouring all my emotions into this._

_Thank you, my faithful journal._

_I hope I don't bore you too much with all my chatter because I will be talking a lot. I don't expect much advice but I do hope that you listen to me. Surely, you will. I plan on addressing all of my entries to the person that I would originally rely on._

_To Luke._

* * *

I couldn't believe my eyes. Was this Annabeth's diary? The place where she wrote her most inner thoughts?

I ran my ice cold fingers across the leather bind journal. I began thumbed through the pages, catching glimpses of all the names that she handwritten. I say Rachel's, Thalia's, Chiron's, Drew's...and finally, my eyes rested on my own. I quickly snapped the diary shut. Maybe I shouldn't reach this. It was invading her privacy. Then again, it's not like anyone respected her privacy.

Ever.

She was destroyed by my friends, and even myself. The things that we did to her. All the things that I wished I could have said and could have taken back.

I shoved the diary in the depths of my coat and began to run outside. I said a quick goodbye to Mr. Chase before leaping to my car and speeding home. My mother wasn't home so I didn't have to face her. Instead, I went to straight my room and shut and locked the door. I took deep breaths before sitting down as calmly as I could at my desk. I began, slowly, to open the diary and start reading.

* * *

**ENTRY #1  
SEPTEMBER 2, 2010**

_Dear Luke,_

_I haven't talked to you in two years. Two very long, hard years. I still remember the last time that you came to visit my family. Of course, my stepmother was reluctant to even let you in the house...but my father persuaded her otherwise. Remember the time that Bobby and Matthew spilled red sauce on your jacket and pretended as if you had been shot? And how my stepmom almost had a stroke because of that but you made a joke and eventually started a massive food fight? I think that's what I miss most about you. The way that you managed to make the atmosphere lighter and make everything better for everyone. I guess that's why you were so high ranked, respected and important in the army...because you made everything better._

_Perhaps I'm just crazy._

_Everyday, I long for you to be here with us. I long for those twenty minute phone calls that we used to have every other night. And those texts that you send frequently giving me extra support for school or sports or even when I'm going to get my haircut. I miss your voice. Your confidence. Your personality. I miss everything about you. _

_Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and warn you about that bomb. I still hurts to say, think and write that word. I leave my classroom whenever my teachers start talking about bombs. I know it's only been two years...but it hasn't been long enough for me to get over it. _

_I'm sorry that I took all the pictures of you down and had my father hide them. I couldn't fathom the thought of looking at pictures of you. It would just cause me too much unnecessary pain._

_But, I guess, overall, the hardest part about your death is losing your support, your ability to listen and to make everything better for me. I remember how everyday last year I would come home crying and the first thing I would do is call you. Then, you would listen to me drone on and on about how miserable my life is when your out there risking your life everyday in the front lines. Yet, you would be there listening to me and acting as if my probelms were the worst in the world. You gave me advice that not even one of my closest friend, Thalia, could give me. _

_You were my best friend._

_My brother._

_The person that I loved. _

_I loved you, Luke Castellan_

_I know that I say that every time we talk to each other but its more than just a stronger friendship, or a brother/sister kind of relationship. I truly do love you. I care about you more than anyone else does. I remind myself of one of those army wives who pray everyday for your safety and pray everyday that you return the following day._

_I wish, above all, that you would be here for me._

_Because I love you._

_I love you so much Luke Castellan._

_I still remember that note that you had given me where you reassured me that you would return in a couple of weeks and how you would return in perfect condition without any wound, or mental disorder. I planned out my outfit, my hair, my shoes, my accessories and even down to the scent that I would wear when I would meet you on that airplane. I dreamed about your reaction and how you would smile as soon as you saw me. Then, you would drop your duffel bag and run to me. You would pick me up, spin me around and then plant a kiss on my cheek. Then, we hug and finally drive home to my house where we would stay up the whole night and talk about everything. _

_Everything._

_Ranging from our favorite movies, hobbies and even what we had for breakfast that morning._

_Or how the weather was. _

_Finally, when it's 4:30, we would turn on the playlist that we burned of our favorite songs and you would sing me to sleep. Eventually, I would drift into a dreamless, brief sleep in your arms and end up skipping school that day just so that I could catch up on my sleep and talk to you even longer. I still dream about the things that we could have done. All the sights we could have seen together. The movies we could have watched._

_Remember that note that you had given me?_

_I read it just about a thousand times. I tried to picture you saying every word and I tried to picture your reaction when you realized that you had broken your very first promise to me._

_You promised me that you would make it back in time._

_You promised me that you wouldn't have a single scratch on you._

_You promised me you would be safe and that I would be able to see you next week._

_You lied to me..._

___Annabeth Chase_

* * *

My hands were shaking.

I remembered a note from Luke Castellan, one of Annabeth's old family friends, in her locker. I also remembered ripping the note in front of her and blowing it all over her face so that it would tangle up in her hair. I remembered the way that she collapsed against her locker, sobbing. I hadn't even realized that he was that special to her.

I knew that he was in the army because I had read the note. He reassured his safety and how he return home to her.

I didn't realize that he had died. I had ruined one of the last memories that she had of him.

I was a monster.

A disgusting monster.

**Do you like the story? **

**Was it good? Bad?**

**I know this chapter was kind of like whatever but next chapter will be a lot better...I promise :)**

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**


	2. Chapter 1

**I'm sorry for not updating earlier...I need to get better at that...but ya...let's get going on the chapter :)**

**Hopefully I can have 'Speak Now' updated by today *cross fingers* but if not I should have it updated by this week. As for 'New Kid at Goode High School' is should also be updated this week. And as for 'Goode High School for Insane Youth' I am 85% sure that I'M OUT OF WRITER'S BLOCK! It should be updated by this week as well or maybe by Sunday of next week...maybe...**

**Little Disclaimer: Some characters that youTOTALLY love (like Travis, Grover, Beck, etc.) aren't very 'well thought of' by Annabeth but DON'T WORRY as the story progresses it'll get better...**

**Let's continue on with the story!**

_Chapter One_

I stared at the cold and untouched pasta, broccoli and oxidized apples. My mom's cooking was delicious, amazing and no matter how sick I felt, I would always eat her food. I would devour every bite until I want to throw up. But not today. I can't eat. I can't think. I can't sleep. I can't do anything today. Not even my mom's cooking or swimming or hanging out with my friends could help the emotional wreck that I was.

Any normal person with a heart would be in the same condition as I was.

My hair was unwashed, my eyes were puffy and red with deep, purple bags that go on for miles underneath my eyes. I haven't gotten a wink of sleep since I found her diary.

Annabeth's diary.

The girl that died a week ago.

Suicide.

Pills.

My fault.

Those words have been haunting me for the last week. _My fault. Death. Suicide. Annabeth. My fault. _How could I live with myself when I know that I was to blame for someone's death? How could I continue to pursue success and college and victories when I was in fact the loser? The person should be on the bottom. The person that _deserves _to be gone. _  
_

Not Annabeth.

She should still be here.

She had a chance for success, for the riches, for everything.

If I hadn't taken it away from her.

I've known her since kindergarten. I've been in all of her classes since the seventh grade. I knew Annabeth inside and out. Or at least I thought I did. Maybe if I had just paid more attention to her, been better friends with her I would have realized that everything I said hurt her more than she let on.

Why did Annabeth have to be so elusive and silent all the time? Why couldn't she be outgoing and outspoken like Katie? Or as opinionated and strong-minded as Thalia? Suddenly, I was furious and angry at Annabeth. Why did she have to be so quiet? Why couldn't she stand up for herself? Why couldn't she have just said something to me that'll let me know that I needed to stop before something bad happened? Something bad...like death... If Annabeth could use her mouth for once she might still be alive!

"Percy?" My mother said, snapping me out of my angry reverie. "Are you okay? You've barely touched your food."

I shrugged, taking a deep breath in order to calm myself down. "I'm fine. I'm just not hungry."

"Are you sure you're alright? You haven't eaten anything in two days," Mom pointed out. "You look a little famished. Are you sick?"

"Mom, I said I'm fine," I said through clenched teeth. Why can't she just leave me alone?

"Percy," My mom urged. She grabbed my chin and forced me to look into her eyes. "Tell me the truth. Are you okay?"

I sighed. I removed her hand from my chin. "I'm just a little tired. That's it. You don't have to worry about me mom. I'm a big boy remember," I reminded her, trying to sound light-hearted but I sounded fake.

"Percy. I'm your mother. I know when something is wrong. Now are you going to tell me, or am I just going to have to find out myself?"

I groaned. I knew that I lost this battle. "It's nothing. Just...some things happened at school. I don't really want to talk about it."

"Not talking about it isn't an option. What happened? You don't have to give me the details, if you don't want to."

_Sure Mom, _I thought sarcastically, _Annabeth Chase, that girl I've known for such a long time, committed suicide because my friends and I relentlessly bullied her. Happy? _

"Percy," My mom said, sternly. "What is going on at school? If you don't tell me, I'll just call the principal and find out."

I knew she wasn't going to back down. "This girl in my grade...," I started, my voice hoarse from dehydration, "She, um, she, uh...she died." I cringed at the word. Technically, she didn't just die all of a sudden.

"Oh Percy...," my mom whispered as she let that sink in. "You should do something. Get your friends to write a card or send flowers to the family. Maybe even go to her funeral."

I tried to picture any of my friends gathering up and buying a bouquet and a card for Annabeth. And going to her funeral? That's crazy talk. If Katie or Thalia say them there, they would kill all of my friends. Slowly. Painfully. Just like they did to her.

An eye for an eye.

"It's not that simple mom... The girl...she committed suicide...a week ago." I choked at the last word, refusing to make eye contact with my mom.

My mom froze, speechless.

"I..." I didn't finish my sentence. I felt tears well in my eyes.

"Percy," my mom whispered as she saw me cry. "Who was the girl?"

I took deep breath, clenching my kitchen table for extra support and strength. "She was...she was...," I felt woozy, unable to finish my sentence.

"Percy? Was it someone that you knew?" My mom's voice was kind, benevolent and sympathetic. "You can tell me."

"It was...it was Annabeth."

My mom gasped, fighting to keep back the tears protruding her sorrowful eyes. She knew Annabeth well. Cared about Annabeth, sometimes more than I do. "Annabeth is dead?!" She muttered. "W-why?! Why did she do it?"

I stared into her face, and I wanted so badly to tell her the truth. To say who pushed Annabeth to do this to herself. To be honest. But I couldn't tell her.

"I don't know." The words hurt me. I couldn't lie to my mom, especially this. It would tear me in half, eat me from the inside out...but I had to. I can't face her with her knowing that I tormented Annabeth.

My mom sat down on the chair beside me. "When you said that you were visiting a family the other day, were you visiting Annabeth's family?"

I sighed, "Yes."

My mom sniffled, "I should call them. Yeah. I should call them." My mom quickly shuffled off into the other room and disappeared.

And as for me...

I sprinted off to my room.

Once I was inside, I shut the door and locked it in under a second, adrenaline helping to support my shaky legs, my emotional mind. I tore out the diary from underneath my pillow and slowly slide against my door, leaning my head against the uncomfortable. Before I opened Annabeth's diary, I took a deep breath, attempting to keep myself down to ensure the safety of the fragile pages.

Slowly, as the tears welling up in my eyes disappeared, I opened the page to Entry #2.

* * *

**ENTRY #2****  
SEPTEMBER 5, 2010**

_Dear Luke,_**  
**

_I'm sorry I was so hard on you before. I was just angry. I've known you for years and you've never betrayed me, lied to me and you always fulfilled your promise. You've known me since I was a child and you know how difficult it is for me to trust people. Maybe I sound a little bit egocentric but don't you care about me? Don't you know that everything going on in my life is happening all wrong? Shouldn't I be happy right now in my senior year of high school? I've been accepted to Yale, Harvard, Princeton and every other college I've applied to. I'm the smartest in my classes, with the most promising future as businesswoman in my school._

_Shouldn't I be happy? _

_But I'm not._

_I'm not happy. I bottled up. I'm alone. I don't have anyone. I don't have you anymore. Even Thalia or Katie, my two best friends in the world, aren't there for me the way that you were._

_And you're gone._

_Because you're gone, I can't be happy. No matter how successful I am. Even if I marry a perfect husband, have perfect children, have a perfect life, I will never be completely happy. Not without you. Not without my best friend. The person I can trust._

_Trust. _

_Every since you've been gone, trust has become an unfamiliar concept. Sure. I can trust Thalia and Katie with 'simple' secrets but when it comes to the most important things, like how I truly feel, I don't think there's anyone that I can confide in. Talking about and sharing my inner most thoughts with Katie and Thalia just isn't the same as when I do with you. _

_You listen me to. You care about what I'm saying. When I talk to Thalia and Katie, sometimes I feel like I'm talking to wall. They listen. And forgot. A never ending process. I'm not saying that I'm ungrateful for friends because I'm not. I'm saying that the best friends are the ones who you trust wholeheartedly._

_You were that best friend, the person who I can say anything to, the person that I know will have the right opinion, that remembers every word that I said. You can recall everything that I say to you and you don't forget it. But now that you're gone..._

_Why can't I find people to confide in? To talk to? To share my thoughts that I would otherwise never say aloud? Why can't people be more like you: caring and lovely and perfect? There's no one in my school that's as caring as you. Everyone there is mean._

_Just mean._

_They're just like monsters._

_Thalia, and Katie are the exceptions, of course. _

_But other than that everyone else are demons, all doomed to hell where they belong! _

_I'm sorry Luke. I know you're not used to me being so angry but the people in my school just don't understand what it's like to be hated by everyone like I am. For the people that just stand there, well, they belong in hell along with the people that hurt me. They should stop it, shouldn't they?! My friends try, but two people against the whole school is an unfair match._

_The people that don't personally attack me should do **SOMETHING**.They shouldn't just stand around and let it happen. _

_And for the people that do hurt me...they deserve more than hell..._

_Rachel, Travis, Grover, Beckendorf...they all deserve to die...and Percy, oh Percy...if I ever get a chance to give him what he deserves..._

_Percy will _want _death_.

**Dun, dun, duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!**

**Will Percy ever tell his mom who hurt Annabeth?**

**What Percy and his friends do to push Annabeth to suicide?**

**How will Percy react with Annabeth's apparent hatred?**

**Will he tell his friends?**

**REVIEW AND FIND OUT**

**~JuicyFruity39**

**PS: Don't worry, Percabeth wil****l be included...but a lot later...sorry**


	3. Chapter 2

**I'm so sorry for not updating sooner! I know I shouldn't be making up excuses but school and volleyball have been super time consuming and, no offense, but I'd rather get all my homework in then update, but I've had three months to update and so it's really my fault.  
**

**Anyway, school is going to be over soon and I promise that I'll update MUCH more frequently :)**

**New thing! The twenty fifth, fiftieth, seventy fifth and hundredth reviewer will receive a preview of the next chapter.**

**So if you want a preview, REVIEW!**

**Here's Chapter Two! Hope you like it!**

_Chapter Two_

I looked at the page, my eyes wide with shock and fear. I could feel the bile in my mouth rise and I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I read over the last few lines, those powerful, simple words ringing through my mind. 'Percy will _want _death. Percy will _want _death.' Was I that terrible to her? I understand that she hated my friends and I, but I hardly gave her a hard time. It was mostly just Nico, Rachel and Travis. They would tear down Annabeth whenever they had the chance, whether she was speaking to someone, eating lunch or even passing by in the hallway.

I get it.

My friends were mean to her. They would call her fat, anorexic, bulimic, a wise ass, stupid, worthless, ugly, disgusting, a slut, a bitch and every other bad thing that they could come up with.

But me? What did I do to her? I would stand there, silent, looking at the ground, studying the dirt on the floor. I wouldn't say anything to her. She didn't bother me and I didn't bother her. Why would she hate me so much? I didn't give her any crap.

It was my other friends!

It was never me! Why would she hate _me _so much? I've known her since kindergarten and I was never mean to her. Sure, I would say a couple of things, but usually it would just be agreeing with my other friends. Hell, I hardly even spoke to the girl! Why me? Why does she choose to say something like that about me? Was it just something that I did that day? Or was she just jealous of me? Was she jealous that everyone in the school practically worshiped me?

Besides her...of course...

Maybe it was just some small flaw about me that really got to her. But what? What could small flaw could be that bad to make her hate me that much?

My hands were shaking violently as I stowed the journal into a safe, well hidden location. I studied my room for a second, trying to find something that would take my mind off of Annabeth. I sighed and stormed out of my room, and ran to my living room. I flipped on the TV and began to channel surf. I finally stopped at a channel that was playing some kind of war movie but it wasn't even to captivate my attention.

The more that I watched bodies fall to the ground, the more that my mind played images of Annabeth lying across the bathroom fall, her gray eyes still burning with hatred, even when she was taking her last few breaths.

I snapped the TV off instantly, my stomach churning, my mind burning with the image of Annabeth.

I felt my legs shake underneath me and I suddenly felt a little bit woozy.

"Percy?" My mother asked when she noticed the state of me. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, "I'm just feeling a little bit sick."

My mother came to my side immediately. She pressed her cool hands against my sweaty forehead. "Maybe you should get some food in your system."

_I'll probably just throw it up, _I thought pessimistically.

"I'm not hungry."

"Percy," My mother said, sympathetically, "I know that you're hurting inside about...you know...and I am too. But you cannot starve yourself because of what happened. It wasn't your fault."

I winced and I felt my stomach churn, the impulse to throw up at an all time high.

_Yes it is. It is my fault that Annabeth Chase killed herself._

"You're right," I agreed, my voice low and shaky. "Maybe some food would be good for me."

My mom smiled, running her fingers through her hair. "So, what would you like? I have _tons_ of leftovers. Or I could always get pizza. Or Chinese food." My mom began rattling off different options for me to pick from, but I shrugged, preoccupied with my guilty conscious.

I heard the microwave go off in the background, and brisk footsteps following it. My mother sat down a platter of chicken, baked beans and asparagus, and suddenly I realized just how hungry I was. I tore the fork away from my mother and began to devour every last bite of my dinner.

"Wow," my mom said, shocked. "When was the last time you ate something?"

I laughed, my mouth full with beans. "I don't even think I can remember."

"Oh Percy," my mother said, sympathetically as she sat down next to me, "Please keep eating. I don't want you to starve yourself. I can't lose my only son. Oh! Poor Chase's. I can't even imagine what their going through right now."

I nodded, forcing food down my throat so that I wouldn't have to talk.

My mother continued, "Whoever those people were that did this to her deserves to know what they did. I hope it tortures them for the rest of their to know that someone who had so much potential and was going so many places is dead now because of them. People these days."

I felt my mother's words echo in my ears. I dropped my fork, feel a very sudden lack of appetite. I pressed my hand against my stomach, and let out a small moan.

"Oh, Percy? Did you eat too fast?"

I let out a meek smile. "Uh, yeah." _  
_

My mother ran through her fingers through my arm. "Well, go get some sleep. It's 10:30. Maybe rest is all that you need."

I mentally groaned. _Like I'm going to actually sleep with that stupid journal burning in the back of my mind as I slept._

* * *

The next day, I was worse than before. I didn't get a wink of sleep last night, and I had suffer through an upset stomach for most it. It was a Monday, and I, above all, did not want to face the judging stares at school. Everyone knew how awful my friends treated Annabeth, and of course, when word gotaround that Annabeth committed suicide, all the fingers will be pointed at us.

My mother and I ate breakfast in silence, which more of me just putting a couple of pieces of pancake in my mouth and chewing in thought.

I tried to picture what Annabeth would be doing right now. I could picture her reading a book as she slowly ate a bowl of cereal and drank orange juice. I imagined her two brothers running around and Annabeth's step mother trying to calm them down. Eventually, they would steal Annabeth's both and then she would chase them around until she eventually caught them.

Then, her doorbell would ring and Thalia and Katie would pick her up. On the way there, Annabeth would talk about Luke, or what happened this morning.

And finally: school. Thalia and Katie would stay at Annabeth's side whenever possible, but Annabeth could still hear the mumbles around their breath, still hear the snickers, and still feel the mental, and sometimes physical pain that she always felt. She might say something to them, or, like always, she would continue to ignore it, telling herself that it would over soon.

But it wasn't over soon.

Everything must have gotten worse.

Because none of those things are going to happen. Annabeth's brothers aren't going to steal her book today. They aren't going to run around like maniacs today. Thalia and Katie aren't picking her up, and Annabeth won't be talking about Luke anymore. Annabeth won't be around to hear those mumbles, or hear those laughs, or be pained anymore.

She's gone.

Forever.

I could hear the clatter of metal as I dropped my fork onto my plate.

"Percy?" My mother asked. "Percy?"

I didn't answer her, gazing at my food. "She's really gone? Isn't she?"

My mother sighed. "Percy, things just happen..."

"But this shouldn't have! It's unnatural!"

"Percy, you are not to blame for what happened! You cared about Annabeth, and I know you did. If it's anybody's fault it's the people that did this to her, the people that bullied her. You cannot blame yourself, especially when I know that you would never do something like to someone. You're a good person Percy. Do not blame yourself."

I stared into my mother's eyes, repressing tears.

She didn't realize how wrong she was because I was to blame.

I was responsible for the fact that Annabeth was in her grave. I have the diary to prove it.

Is it wrong? Is it wrong that reading her most private book of all? Is it wrong that I'm reading the pages that expressed Annabeth's emotions, that told me how she truly felt about me, and her connection with Luke Castellan. Is it wrong that I'm still alive? Is it wrong that I'm still breathing when I, in fact, should be in the grade since I _deserved _it?

Do I deserve life? A future?

Don't I deserve death?

Because I know I don't deserve fortune, or success, or a mother who loves me.

I deserve punishment, poverty, homelessness. I deserve it all. I don't deserve my house, or my mother, or food on my plate. I deserve a painful, slow death to repay Annabeth.

Because I don't want a future if I have to live with _this_.

* * *

I slumped against my locker, halfheartedly punching in the combination. I felt my fingers shake as I did, and I must have reentered my combination at least four times until I successfully opened it up. Inside, I found my books and my pencils and the pictures of my friends all where they belonged, but everything seemed so out of place.

It seemed empty.

I pulled out my books for my next class, trying to ignore the obvious stares I felt burning at my back. My hands were shaking as i tried to get a grip of my belongings, but it hurt to hold it.

"Percy?"

"Perce?"

"Is everything okay?"

I scowled. I didn't want to see this people. Not now. Not after Annabeth's death.

I turned around to see Rachel, Nico and Grover. They were watching me as I fell apart, noticing the black bags under my eyes and the order of my hair. They immediately understood what I was feeling, but I couldn't sure if they were feeling it, too. Grover, I guess, looked a little tired, and his hair was wilder than usual, but Rachel and Nico looked perfect, not a single hair out of place.

"Hey guys," I mumbled.

Rachel took a step closer them me, and her perfectly manicured nails across my bare arm.

"You're upset. I know."

I scoffed. "You look torn up," I pointed out, sarcastically.

Rachel looked down at her clothes, which was black leggings, a glamorous white shirt and a jean jacket. She pulled her hand away from me. "I'm sorry...," she whispered, "But I have to do something..."

"Like act as if nothing happened," I sulked.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant!" I snapped, raising my volume by a notch. "It doesn't matter, anyway. I suppose we should just move on and act as if nothing happened. It's healthiest, if you think about it. To just move on. And if was any other person, I would have moved on to. But this was Annabeth."

"I get it. You knew her."

I laughed without humor. "You think because I knew her that I'm upset? Rachel, I love you, but you kind of idiot."

Rachel stared at me, her mouth wide open. "What are you talking about?"

"You really don't get it, do you? She committed suicide, Rachel! She killed herself because of the pain that she felt, the pain that she had to endure everyday for years. She's dead because of _us_."

I stared at my friends, looking from Rachel, to Grover, to Nico and then back to Rachel. They both had the same blank expression on their face, dumbfounded. They hadn't came to realization of who's fault is was, but I'm sure they understand know.

"I have to get to class," I whispered, and I ran.

I ran far away from them, far away from the people most responsible.

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Hey guys. Sorry this isn't an update for this story. I'm here to tell you that, to be completely honest, I'm not really feeling that excited to write this story. Originally I was IN LOVE with this idea of Annabeth's death and Percy reading her diary, like 13 Reasons Why, but as I looked back on it, I'm at a loss as to where I would take this story, because I feel like I'm not really going anywhere with it.**

**I'm here you to tell that I'm sorry and that I'm not just not interested in really writing this story. Personally, I'm not really dying to continue writing this story. I'm not really finding any motivation to continue it. At first, I was so interested in writing this but months have passed and I've written three chapters that weren't the best that I could write.**

**I'm not one of those authors who would just leave my reader's hanging and just discontinue a story. Of course, I'm going to finish it, but ****I would only make it 10 chapters, instead of twenty five. I honestly don't think that's a big deal if it's super short, but I'm very sorry if it is disappointing to know that this story isn't going to be like my others, which are twenty five chapters long.**

**So, if I disappointed you, I'm sorry, but I promise that the small amount of chapters that I do write will be VERY good and (hopefully) long enough to satisfy you :)**

**So now that that's over with, let's get on with the next chapter.**

_Chapter Three_

I seemed to be a very important topic of gossip around the school lately. Every time I walked into a classroom, I was greeted with unfriendly stares and gawks from my peers that were considered acquaintances with Annabeth, or really anyone that had some sort of compassion. My friends gave me small smiles but I ignored them, trying to throw myself into the lectures of my teacher's, but in nearly every class, they seemed to have to say something about Annabeth. And as they did, I could overhear the side conversations and the whispers about me.

"That's him," a girl would mumble.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. He tortured her for years."

"Looks like he can't torture her anymore."

I wanted so badly to turn around and throw my books at them, to yell at them in front of the class, demanding to know if they had anything better to talk about. But I suppose that their motivations are understandable. In any school, to anyone, the death of girl would be a very important topic of gossip. In fact, I would be _surprised_ if I didn't hear any whispers about me.

I knew, deep down, that I deserved this kind of mental punishment. I hate admitting it, I hate knowing that I'm responsible. I am a monster, according to Annabeth at least, even though I never said a word to her. Although, maybe Annabeth was angry toward me because I was a part of it. Perhaps she hated me the most because I was once friends with her, once someone that she could confide in. However, once we got into high school, I turned my back on her, thought I was better than her. Maybe that betrayal was the worst of all.

My least favorite class, architectural design (which I decided to take since I hated drawing even more), was probably the hardest to go to. It was the only class that I had with both Annabeth, Thalia and Katie, well, now only Thalia and Katie. If you could find anyone in the world that hated me more than Annabeth, it would be Katie. Katie Gardner has been Annabeth's best friend since the sixth grade. They were inseparable. As for Thalia, I _was _on talking terms with her, since she's my cousin.

But now...

I shuddered at the thought.

This wasn't going to be a fun class.

I tolerated Mrs. Varner, the teacher, and she tolerated me as well. Although she did find me a little cocky, Mrs. Varner appreciated my sense of humor and hard working abilities. However, she was Annabeth's favorite teacher, and the feeling was mutual. Mrs. Varner had a particularly strong liking toward Annabeth, and so I wasn't surprised when I discovered that today we would be having a substitute.

Mrs. Swift, a perky blonde haired woman with extremely pale skin, was standing at the doorway, smiling. She looked to be in late 20s, and looked generally oblivious to the real problems that was circulating around the school, and the real reason as to why Mrs. Varner hired her. **  
**

I was hoping that Thalia and Katie wouldn't be at school today, but of course, my luck fell through the cracks the minute I woke up this morning. Thalia and Katie were sitting in the corner of the room, away from all the bystanders staring at them. They looked horrible: bags under their red, puffy eyes, their hair in sloppy buns and wearing sweats and a t-shirt. It was out of character for them. Usually, they look glamorous with makeup, stylish and expensive clothes and their hair straightened or curled. Today, however, the school would understand their lack of attentiveness toward their look. Hey, I'm surprised I even got dressed this morning.

Instantly as I walked in, the atmosphere became much chillier. As if they could sense my appearance, the two of them simultaneously looked up at me, and gave em the worst glare ever. I felt as if my bones were being broken from their glare. My legs felt like jelly, and I looked down at the floor.

"Perce!" A voice called.

I looked up, hoping that it wasn't Thalia or Katie calling for me. Instead, it was Nico, my other cousin. He gestured toward me to sit next to him. I could always turn to Nico for support, no matter what boneheaded thing I did and clearly this situation represents extreme boneheadedness and a lot of other horrible things.

I sat next to him. "Hey man."

"How you feeling? Your name is really spreading around the school."

I shrugged. "How am I supposed to feel? Because trust me, I don't feel good."

"Neither do I," Nico mumbled. "Can you believe it? I mean, I didn't know her as well as you did, but still..."

"She's gone," I said, finishing his sentence. I felt a wave of pain course through my body and held onto the chair for support. "Do you think what everyone's saying is true? That we're responsible for everything that's happened to Annabeth?"

Nico shook his head. "No way. Yeah, we could have added to it, but there must have been something else going on. She always seemed so...resilient."

"Like you said, I've known Annabeth for forever. She hated, above all, to seem weak, especially if front of her enemies. She is human after all. She can only take so much."

"I guess. But, how do we know? Maybe someone she knew died."

I winced. Nico was right about that.

"Percy," he asked, picking up on my reaction to word _died_, "Is everything okay?"

I sighed. "You aren't very off on that guess. You know that note that we...," I hesitated, and changed my word choice, "that _I _tore up? The one that was in Annabeth's locker, that made her just break down and cry about?

Nico nodded, grimacing. Apparently the memory was just as painful for him as it was for me.

"Well, I just found out, but apparently the note came from someone named Luke Castellan."

"Luke?"

"Recognize the name?"

"Yeah. I was hanging at Thalia's house one time for a party and she was having a sleepover Annabeth and Katie. I don't remember what exactly they were talking about but I do remember Thalia bringing up someone named Luke and Annabeth blushing pretty badly. Who is he?"

"He's an older guy, maybe 25. Anyway, he's known Annabeth for most of her life. Anyway, he was in the army and he wrote Annabeth that letter. I think the reason why she was upset, so emotional lately, was because she was to accept his death."

Nico winced. "Do you know what the letter said?"

I shrugged. "No. I kind of wish I did."

"I wish I could take it back," Nico mumbled. "I wish I could into the past and change everything that's happened."

I sighed. "Too bad we can't. But if we could, I would be right behind you."

* * *

Rachel and I walked home together. We lived just a couple streets away from me and so this was our normal routine. However, today was different. Usually these walks are filled with laughs and smiles and happy moments. Today was nothing but silence, deeply, eerie silence that I wanted to break but couldn't bring myself to do. I could see how painful this was for Rachel, and I wish I could fix but I couldn't. I couldn't just forget.

"Percy," she started when we were about five minutes from the school. "Is everything okay? I feel the only time you've said anything was the morning and when you talked to Nico."

"Did he tell you about what we said?"

Rachel shook her head. "I didn't want to know. It wouldn't be fair if he told me, since I know you wouldn't want me to know."

"I love you Rachel, you know that, right?"

"Yeah. And you know you can tell me anything?"

I nodded. "Of course."

"Then, tell me, what's going on today? And tell me that your just grieving because of Annabeth. I-I get why you would be upset but there's something more. Something your not telling me. Did Thalia or Katie talk to you? What happened?"

"Why do you assume that they had something to do with it? Maybe I am just upset because someone I knew just killed herself! Or maybe I'm upset because it's my friends' fault that she's dead!"

Rachel froze, her mouth slightly ajar from frustration. "Do you hear yourself when you talk?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It's supposed to mean that you're making absolutely no sense, Percy! Blaming your friends?! Blaming me?! Do you understand what's wrong with your saying?" Rachel argued. We were staring at each other, giving each other the death glare. I've never seen her so mad before. "I don't understand you, Percy. I don't understand why you're so angry at me."

I took a step closer to Rachel, clenching my fists. "I'm angry because it's my friends' fault that Annabeth Chase. It's your fault that she's dead!"

Rachel gasps, tears welling her eyes. "How could you say that to me?" She whispered.

I felt guilty about it. It was a horrible thing to say, but I couldn't take it back.

"You're unbelievable, Percy! You are so self-centered and egotistical! I'm girlfriend, and your practically accusing me of killing someone!"

"How am _I _self-centered? You, after all, are the person that constantly picked on Annabeth and tore her apart every time you got the chance."

"You're not innocent either!"

"I never said anything to her!"

"Do you think that makes you the angel in this?! Do you think taking the letter out and ripping to shreds makes you innocent?! Do you think just standing there and doing nothing as she falls about before you eyes makes you innocent?! Do you think ignoring her and ditching her the way that you did makes you at all innocent?!" A few tears escaped Rachel's eyes and trailed down her cheek, bringing down a couple streams of mascara. "How can you think that you're innocent when really _you _are to blame for Annabeth's death?"

I stared at Rachel, and felt the overwhelming emotion pour into my bottom. It was like she took a steaming hot metal clip and yanked my heart out. I could feel the burning sensation, the disgust in my stomach overwhelming me. My legs shook and I sniffled, a tear rolling down my cheek. I hated feeling like this. Wasn't I supposed to be the strong one? The one that ignored every horrible thing that people ever say to me? That's how I'm known around: the strong one, the emotionless one...the robot.

But I'm human.

"Goodbye Percy," Rachel muttered. She wiped away her tears and ran, faster than I've ever seen her and before I knew it, she disappeared, gone forever.

Just like Annabeth.

**Well, I hope you guys like it :)**

**So, like I said before, this story isn't my favorite but I promise that I'll finish it (hopefully before summer's over)**

**There's only going to be six more chapters left. But they'll good. **

**I won't discontinue the story, or leave you hanging.**

**I promise :)**

**I love you guys**

**~Juicyfruity39**

**PS: CHECK OUT MY POLL PLEASE**


	5. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Here for another update!**

**Random question: would you guys read a story that I would write about Pretty Little Liars? After I finish this story, I wanna start a PLL story (since I'm obsessed with it) and also when I'm finished with New Kid at Goode High School, I'm starting another PJO story.**

**Anyway, the question is would you guys read my PLL story?**

_Chapter 4_

I was staring in the mirror, looking at my appearance. If this was any other occasion, I would have thought that I looked great. I was wearing my father's black suit and my hair was wild and untamed. However, I wasn't attending a fancy dinner or an elegant party. I was attending a funeral: Annabeth Chase's funeral. Normally, I wouldn't have ever gone to a funeral if I didn't have to but I felt as if I had an obligation to her family and to myself to give my respects to Annabeth. I, however, knew that I would be a very obvious target of harassment, especially by Thalia and Katie, so I decided to bring my two best friends: Nico and Grover.

They were waiting for me outside of my apartment. They both looked out of place with their suits on and I could tell just by their face that they were dreading this almost as much as I was...but I needed them there.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Nico asked, skeptically as the three of us stepped into Grover's car.

"Of course. We all need to pay our respects to Annabeth, no matter how uncomfortable this is going to be. We owe her that much."

"Perce, I think Nico has a point. We're not exactly going to be welcomed with open arms by Annabeth's friends, or anyone that went to our school. They all know about our reputation with Annabeth," Grover pointed out.

I rolled my eyes. "It doesn't matter! If it was me that was dead, I'm sure Annabeth, Thalia and Katie would have came too."

"Yeah, to burn your casket with your remains in there," Nico mumbled sarcastically under his breath.

I turned around to glare at my best friend. "Look, I don't care if Thalia and Katie are pissed that we're there. I have to do this."

"Why?" Grover asked. "Why, all of a sudden, do you care about Annabeth?"

"Who said I didn't care about her?" I snapped.

Nico shrugged. "Look, Perce, you're a great guy but you never even thought about the pain that Annabeth was in, let alone care."

"Why does everyone keep saying that to me?" Percy demanded, "First with Rachel, who practically said that I killed Annabeth, and now you two, my best friends. Why does everyone think that I didn't care about Annabeth when I did."

"It's not that we don't think you cared about her, it's just, the way you treat her."

"I've never said a word to her practically my entire high school life!"

"Percy, maybe that's why Annabeth hates you so much, or why people blamed you. Because you were friends with Rachel, and Travis and the people that ruined her life, and you never did anything about it. Maybe that's why Annabeth hates you so much. Maybe that's why you, in particular, are being shunned by more people than Rachel."

"It's not fair," Percy mumbled.

"I know, man," Grover said, patting Percy on the back. "Let's just try to get through this." Grover started.

**(At the funeral)**

When we arrived there was a long line of cars parked by the funeral house. As soon as we stepped out of Grover's car, I zeroed in almost immediately on the picture of Annabeth on the large billboard signifying that this was Annabeth's funeral. She was a wearing a beautiful white dress, her blonde hair styled with spectacular princess curls. I had to admit that she was beautiful, and felt even more guilty for her death.

"To think that someone so beautiful had to die in such an ugly way," I thought aloud, pointing toward her picture.

Nico and Grover sighed, clearly with the same thought. "She doesn't deserve to die that way."

"No one does," I muttered.

We took a couple steps toward the funeral house, lucky even to notice that there weren't very many students from our school, and so perhaps my friends and I wouldn't have to face those horrible judgmental stares that we experienced throughout the entire school day. I noticed Malcolm Chase, Annabeth's unbelievably smart brother with an IQ of at least 175. He was hugging his mother, who had tears in her eyes.

"Someone should go talk to her," Isaid, gesturing toward Mrs. Chase.

Grover held his arms up, "I nominate you, Per-." Grover was interrupted by a very unfriendly voice.

"What do you think you're doing her, Jackson?" A very unfriendly voice sneered.

I groaned, turning around to face Katie Gardner and Thalia Grace, Annabeth's two best friends. Like I had said before, if there was anybody that hated me more than Annabeth, it was definitely Katie and Thalia. And clearly, they were more than just angry that Grover, Nico and myself had showed up to the funeral. They looked downright murderous.

"Jackson, if you knew what was good for you, you shouldn't have come here," Katie snapped.

"Unless of course you're here to admit to everyone that were a complete jerk to Annabeth and that you confess how it was fault what happened to her," Thalia offered, "But if not...then leave."

"Look, Thalia, Katie, I'm sorry-," I started, but I didn't get a chance to finish.

"I'm sorry. You're still here because...?" Katie gave me a nasty stare. I shuddered, and tried to look at my friends for some support, but they gave me none. "Look, Jackson," Katie took a step closer to me and I took an involuntary step back, "I don't care if you're here because you feel sorry for Annabeth. Your bed has been made. Now leave."

"I'm not leaving, Katie."

"No, you are," Thalia argued.

"Yeah, and if you don't, Katie continued, "I'm gonna tell everyone about what you did to her, starting with your mom and then going to Chase's."

"Imagine how angry Malcolm might be if he found out that his sister was killed because of what you did to her," Thalia threatened.

Nico and Grover finally decided to step in before I decided say something stupid that would only make the situation even worse. "Percy, let's just get out of here. It's not worth it."

"Listen to Nico," Thalia argued. "Now go."

I wanted to stay, I wanted to prove to Thalia and Katie that they didn't scare me. I wanted to stay there and support the Chase's and do what I came there to do, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't risk having the Chase's or my mom hate me for what I did to Annabeth.

And so, along with Grover and Nico, I started walking toward my car, staring at the beautiful girl on the sign that said, 'Manhattan Funeral Home: Annabeth Chase.'

* * *

When I got home, the first thing that I had to deal with was my mother's prying eyes and nosy questions. She was eating lunch and watching a chick flick, clearly expecting me to home much later since she hadn't prepared anything for me. When I walked inside with the gloomy face that I had, she turned off of the TV, flicking the blanket off of her and stood up, going toward me.

"Percy?" She asked. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged, leaning against the kitchen and trying to see what she eating. "Do you have anymore of that?"

My mom looked down at her lunch. "No, but I can make you some." She turned her attention toward the kitchen, although her attentiveness on my meal was somewhat lackluster, considering that almost instantly she turned back to me. "How was the funeral?"

I shrugged, not able to say anything.

However, I didn't need to. One of the great things about my mother was that she could understand exactly how I felt just by my body language or the tone of my voice, and she clearly see that I didn't make it.

"Was it too tough to bare?" She asked. "I know I wouldn't be able to go there."

"It's nothing really," I mumbled. "I just couldn't stand seeing people in so much pain. Katie and Thalia were just so upset, and so Mrs. Chase."

"Can you imagine what it must feel like to lose their only daughter? I wonder what awful people made Annabeth do something like that."

I winced, and felt my stomach churn, suddenly not feeling very hungry. Imagine what my mother would say if she found out that the people she was castigated at the very moment was her own son.

"Did you see Malcolm?" My mother asked.

I nodded, "Yeah. He hasn't really changed much, but he looked really upset."

"Of course he is," my mother agreed. "I would be, too...if that ever happened to you."

I shrugged. "I promise you'll never have to feel that way."

My mom sighed, "Good. Now, go to room. Do your homework. Try to keep your mind off of this. I'll drop off your lunch when it's ready."

"Thanks mom," I said, smiling.

When I was inside my room, I went to Annabeth's diary almost immediately, hoping that there would be some kind of good news in there, hoping that there would be something to reassure me and to make me feel better, although I knew that if Annabeth did feel any sort of joy, it would just make me feel worse. To think that Annabeth was happy at one point, and now dead...

All of because of me.

* * *

**ENTRY #7  
OCTOBER 15, 2010**

_Luke,_

_You know how in all the movies that have to do high school and coming of age and the main character ALWAYS screws up but ALWAYS becomes friends with them again, how come that doesn't happen in real life? How come you fight with someone one die and then talk to them again? Is that just life? Or is just me? Am I not good enough for some people. Do people think that I'm a waste of space?_

_I know you don't think I'm waste of space, but so many people have said that I am. __So many people have said to me that I don't matter and that I should just die and stop wasting oxygen._

_Is that true? _

_Do I have a pointless life?_

_Apparently according to Rachel I do. According her to I should just, and I quote, 'bury myself a vast pond of dirt and try to break a record for breathing the most dirt in your lungs at once.' And according to Travis and all of her other friends, I should just, 'put everyone out of their misery and jump into a steamy bath of lava.'_

_Is that stuff all true?  
_

_Is is true that I'm wasting space? Using up natural resources when I should stop being 'selfish' and just off myself? I wish you here. I wish I could have this conversation face to face. I wish I could tell you everything that they said to me and let you hold me and tell me that their stupid, malicious bullies._

_But you're not here._

_And I have no one to turn to._

_But anyway, back to what I was talking about before, with the whole friendship thing._

_Yeah, I haven't really lost any friends that I'm dying to take back. I mean that my true friends are the ones that would never leave me, but I can't help but wish that there was one person that could have just stuck with me._

_One person that I wished was there for me the same that you were there for me._

_I've known him for so long, and it's not hard to admit that I used to have the biggest crush on that kid. For so long, he was everything that I ever wanted. He was kind, nice and cared about people. And, despite what he's done to me, I guess he's always been that person that I just kept forgiving, hoping that he would, one day, care for me the same that I cared for him._

_I wish he was there..._

_Percy..._

_Percy Jackson._

**Oh, cliffie!**

**Sorry it's so pathetically short (and probably really poorly edited.) I wasn't exactly sure how to approach this chapter, but next one will be a lot longer, with more entries and PERCABETH will be in it!**

**I so happy that there are people out there who enjoy this story, and makes it want to keep writing it, even though I'm a 100% in love with this idea.**

**My goal is to have this finished by the end of July.**

**Anyway, don't forget to answer my question about PLL. I'm probably going to have it be like a Jason/Spencer family relationship (NOT romantic of course) with Spoby of course :)**

**Let's get some reviews! :)**


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